just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
