when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
