your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
50% drunk capacity currently
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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