This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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