im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
