Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This baby is an asshole
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
