But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
