the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
