Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
