ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
