38 yer olds are good kisserssss
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
