I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
