Swine flu. Run for my life!
accomplished twins. life is a go
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
