I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My vagina just recognized that song.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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