so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
