What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
