oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
