I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I enjoy the company of your penis
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
