Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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