moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
