We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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