I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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