Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
