doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
