Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
