GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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