I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
