Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
