she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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