She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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