I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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