don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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