I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my sisters under your porch take her home
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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