at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
