What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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