careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
