I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
