At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just found puke in my bra..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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