OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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