Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
