I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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