so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
