i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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