is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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