I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
