He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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