dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I will pee on everything he values.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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