There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
