On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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