it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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